Plat

Edit:

This offer for a handshake (which was shared privately) has been misused for Twitter validation by a complete moron... Causing one of the most epic facepalms I have ever experienced.

This is the type of situation I talk about below. When I am hopeless regarding people with pretty much no self-awareness.

Hi...

Several people have counter-recommended me to do this. They think there is only a very small chance that it would work. I do it because the effort is still worth it. Worth that small chance.

1) I have repeated many times that it's really easy to say "I don't care about X people or person", but what's actually hard and right is to try to care even about your "enemies". The quotes are there for obvious reasons: we shouldn't perceive each other as "enemies", to begin with. Basic shit. Saying it to possibly establish a common ground.

Obviously I fail myself at this many times. Paradoxically more often, the older I get, because I become more and more hopeless in some aspects, increasing an external control locus, being more prone to throw all my knowledge and principles out of the window and just let my frustration manifest itself in the form of insults.

That day I became hopeless about you for reasons that we could talk about civilly in any moment, but now, the purpose is to let you know that I am not blind or indifferent to the suffering I caused to you, regardless of how right or wrong my prejudices were.

We were pretty much strangers in a very heated situation. We are still strangers, but that doesn't mean it's ok to be indifferent (at least not for me). It's not universable. If it was a systemic choice, nobody would give a shit about anyone else after any conflict, perpetuating possible misunderstandings and whatnot.

What I am trying to say, believe it or not, is that I try to care about you (even if I failed in crucial moments), and didn't enjoy hearing that you distanced yourself from this community. I can't trust this community anymore myself, and can't perceive it as I did, but that doesn't mean I wanted you to go.

Probably you experienced a feeling of "betrayal" as I did. You didn't deserve it, regardless of our disagreement.

2) The both of us can't care about the community as we used to, even if we were active in very different areas.

But unless I am mistaken, we both still have friends in it.

In your case, Valy is clearly still suffering. In my case, other people are indirectly getting involved in the rants slandering me ("homophobic" has been also mentioned at this point), mocking the combo MAD I participated in and whatnot.

One could say Valy barely has any reach... Who cares.

But on one hand, even if one single person was influenced by these rants (thinking the DMC community is some bunch of racists, transphobes and whatnot), it would be bad enough to not stay indifferent to it.

On the other hand, again, Valy suffers.

Despite my temptation to dissect all the nonsense that is spout in such rants (some tweets were deleted), I am trying to avoid it.

What I can't do is avoid it forever. People like Troll and Lancelot were completely innocent, they put a lot of effort in organizing this combo MAD, asked me to participate several times because I helped them to get good at the game, etc. And at some point I won't stay silent anymore. Same goes if more and more something-phobe/something-ist are mentioned.

A dialogue between Valy and I is impossible. A dialogue between you and I isn't (at least that's what I think currently while typing this).

If there is any small chance to make this community slightly less fragmented than what it is after all this conflict and mitigate the consequences, I think it could start with a conversation between you and I.

If you don't have the time, energy or motivation for it, it's understandable. I would make my own decisions if I get a negative answer (assuming you even read this).